i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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