Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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