Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize