some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
