I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
