I'm lost and stupid without you.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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