I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize