If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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