3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
