you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
