what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
