It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
