Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
that may or may not have been my penis.
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