I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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