my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
