You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
