If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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