She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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