So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I got her a Nickelback box set.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
