I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
