yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize