i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
