I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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