apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
