Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
