I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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