It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
