Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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