I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
