Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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