he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize