sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
