put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
