If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
