I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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