Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
