somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
