Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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