due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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