Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
