i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
