ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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