dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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