i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
