You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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