He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
