He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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