farters have to be the big spoon...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
