There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
