You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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