tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize