Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
