You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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