So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
