you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
