and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize