:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
