Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
