her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
