Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
