You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
