So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
40s are totally the cure
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
