Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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