I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
