everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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