think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
