Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
